Lauren London has gone through a major transformation since losing her longtime love, Nipsey Hussle. Hussle unexpectedly and tragically passed away in 2019. In a rare interview, London opened up about her life with Hussle and how his death changed everything she knew about life, especially her relationship with God. London says her faith was weak in the wake of her death, but it was her biggest crutch simultaneously.
Lauren London says she felt like God dropped the ball on her because of Nipsey Hussle’s death
London has always considered herself a spiritual being and closely related to God. A spiritual connection is something she says she deeply shared with Hussle. But after his death, she says her faith briefly changed.
“I remember hearing people say, ‘You don’t really have a relationship [with God] until you question God. And I had a lot of questions afterwards. The real ones,” she told Angie Martinez during an appearance on her In real life podcast. “I prayed really hard when I heard he got shot, and then I was like, ‘Oh, my prayer didn’t work? So the prayer didn’t work. So I I was like, ‘What is really going on? Why? How?’ I feel like God dropped the ball on me. That’s how I felt. I took it really personal.
But after a while, London says her thought process changed. “Then I started thinking, ‘Why not you?’ Who are you? Women go through this every day. Why not you?’ So I had to come out of my ego. And then my relationship started,” she added.
She previously opened up about how her faith wavered on an episode of ‘Red Table Talk’
In a 2020 episode of Red table discussion About grief over gun violence, London shared how her faith in God was tested after Hussle’s death to the co-hosts. Despite this, she relied heavily on her faith to help her through uncertain times.
“For me, what has really been important is like connecting with God. And it’s been a struggle because something horrible is happening in your eyes and you’re like, “How God? ‘” she told Pinkett Smith. “Knowing that there is life after this life is not easy. I don’t always wake up on the lighted side of the bed and on the days that I don’t, I let myself go because I’m human and I’m not always going to feel like, ‘I’ll be fine’ and I don’t not. And that’s fine too.
Another thing that helps London is interacting with the Hussle fans he has touched. She pursued several projects that Hussle was attached to before his death and met many of his fans along the way.
“I love meeting people that Nip really inspired because I feel like he’s still around. Even though he is, in a way,” she said. “It’s like his purpose is completely outside of each of us – his purpose – he always touches people and I find that when I meet people who tell me how he’s changed their lives, what they’re doing with their life right now, it fills me up.
RELATED: Lauren London reveals how Diddy helped her show up at the Strongly Nipsey Hussle memorial